Strong enough

What came first the chicken or the egg? What you think about grows. And so I struggle to figure it out... Did my constant worrying this would happen.. cause the outcome? or is it something that was written long ago something I had no control over? Something destined. Ever since he was young I would watch him and have that fear what if what if he chose that path? It was my worst fear.. crept into my head right before I would fall asleep. Please God...not him..not me. Such pride and admiration for those who do.. but I am not strong enough. As he grew I could see it coming.. Was it irrational.. or was it a knowing a mothers' intuition. Either way The outcome is still the same whether it was my worst fear that I manifested myself or something God was trying to prepare me for.. again either way my son is going to fight a war on the other side of the world and I am filled with fear and pride. It's time. It's here. Ready or not.. it is here. The funny thing is.. I am ready I am at peace with it. He is no longer the little boy I raised.. He is a man now. Full of honor and courage.. with the heart of lion.. and now the very least I can do is square my shoulders raise my head up face the fear head on support him.... and know He is leaving to do what he was destined to do. And I...I am strong enough.